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[After a few days of Deep Thought following this little encounter, Asch has finally resolved himself to go back home. He's packed his things, cleaned up, done a few repairs to make the apartment somewhat presentable after he tore it to bits during the Halloween ordeal, though he's sure it'll end up fixing itself anyway. Finally, sometime in the morning, he heads out and makes his way to House 5.

Depending on where the occupants are, he'll be looking for Guy, Luke, and Natalia- starting with their rooms, one by one, and then moving on to the rest of the house and outside if necessary. He's been thinking a lot - probably too much for his own good - and he's tired, but more than that, he's tired of just running away.]

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I will certainly do my best.

[Asch falls silent at that, mulling it over for a while. He knows there's more- there always is. But he's not sure that it's all Guy's responsibility.]

...Why... why is it just me?

...it's always been you.

It isn't your fault. And for what it's worth, I'm sorry.

There's something else.

[It's a relief to have her support in this, certainly. But that's probably the easy part. The rest... he's not so sure if she'll like it, especially considering their situation.]

I've always told you to forget about the past, to move on and stop talking about it. I don't want that anymore.

[It's necessary. It's necessary, he just needs to keep telling himself that.]

May I ask why the sudden change of heart?

[That's not what he wanted to hear. But then, none of this has been anything to look forward to. It's not as if he thought this was going to be easy, or enjoyable in the slightest. Which is pretty much the opposite of how it's been with Guy for a long time now.

...Great.]

...I'll wait for you. I'll try.

[he's reluctant to go into detail about it, but she deserves an answer. Especially with how vehemently he's denied it all this time.]

...Because I used to want to be a king- I used to think it was my destiny. I need to find that sense of self again, that... that strength. I need to remember what it meant to be Luke fon Fabre.

[Because it's still who he is, even if he can't reclaim the name anymore- even if Eldrant was the only time he could ever call himself that again. Without the name, all he can do is try and take back the feeling it used to convey, the pride he always held close to his heart.]

[Guy opens his mouth to reassure Asch; to turn it around, to brush off his concerns with cheerful sincerity and make the conversation lighter than it was turning out to be.

But Guy catches sight of the look in Asch's eyes and can't do it. His voice sticks in his throat and he quickly ducks his head, hiding his face.]

Edited 2010-11-10 06:48 (UTC)

I am glad to hear you say that.

Gah-!

[And Luke staggers backwards, wondering how in the world a wall suddenly appeared right outside his door. Is Guy that desperate to keep him inside?

But upon looking and seeing Asch... Luke's eyes widen, and he has to stare in shock for a moment. Once he gets over the shock, though... Sorry Asch, you're the nearest person, so you have to deal with another Luke-to-Luke collision as he launches himself forward for something similar to a tacklehug.]

Asch!

[Asch glances sidelong at him, studying him in his silence. He's not sure if it was the right thing to say, and he's not sure if what he's about to say is right either, but he has to try. He can't expect honesty from Guy if he doesn't expect it of himself just as much.]

I don't know if I can give you what you need, or if I'll help or just make it worse. But I want you to know that nothing you say to me - nothing you share of yourself - is going to change the way I see you. So be as angry and hateful and ugly as you have to be. Share it all and don't hold anything back. It's nothing I haven't seen before.

[Good... good. He nods slowly, lips pursing, his shoulders hunching ever so slightly in relief. As long as she's on board with him on this, he might be able to make it.]

...Thanks.

[Guy mumbles into his knees, turning his face away.]

I don't want to do that.

[He tightens; his arms, his legs, pulling into himself to make him smaller. He almost feels like he should be smelling soot and staring at a chimney grate.]

I'm not that kind of person. I don't want to hurt anyone. [Not anymore.]

[Asch flails helplessly, grimacing in irritation as his back hits the floor. Immediately he's struggling, trying to wriggle his arms free to shove Luke off.]

Let go of me!

But you were, weren't you? You've already admitted that. You were going to do terrible things. It's a part of you, part of your past, just as much as my family and Natalia are a part of mine. Did you ever deal with it or just push it down so it wouldn't be out in the open?

[He seriously doubts that.]

You're back! You came back!

[Asch said something- He's not really sure of what, but he heard his voice, and it wasn't in his head! Luke grins and lets go, pushing himself back to a sitting position.]

Asch, I-I can hear again! Just barely, but- I heard you just now!

You're welcome.

You are not alone. Just remember that.

[Guy doesn't speak, but his fists clenching around his sleeves should be answer enough.

He remembers. He'd imagine it very often, as young as eleven he'd dream up different ways he could exact his revenge. He'd stand over Asch's bed as he slept, holding a pillow. He'd walk behind Asch on their way back from his lessons, holding onto the hilt of his sword so tightly his knuckles turned white. Picture the light leaving his eyes and Fabre's screams of horror.

He'd even wondered if he should kill the Duchess and the maids too. Just to be fair.

He didn't want to share that with anyone...least of all Asch.]

You can? [Asch resists the urge to shove - not a good start to the conversation he's already resolved himself to have - and sits up.] How barely is barely?

[He's not; he knows that, even if he doesn't always- ...okay, he very rarely acknowledges it. He has so many people here, people he didn't have in Auldrant, those he trusts or are getting to know, those who have wanted to support him but he'd never allowed it... even if he doesn't understand why, he's not alone.

He doesn't respond, but after a moment he slides a hand up to lightly press it over hers. He has all of them; he has her.

It's okay.]

[Luke gives a rather blank look at first, and while he didn't quite hear the question, he still answers. He manages to read the word "barely", and he got the gist from that.]

You sound really far away, and I couldn't understand everything you said, but- It's really coming back!

[There's that silence again, that quiet, undeniably comforting lull in a difficult conversation, It's so easy to fall back on that, to shrug it all off and pretend like it's not important enough to say aloud.

Necessary. It's necessary.]

...Did you mean what you said? About needing me for this?

[Asch stares at him for a long moment, studying his expression. ...Yep, he still looks confused. He pushes himself to his feet, turning away, raising his voice so it's a bit louder for Luke.]

I'll come back later, then.

[It sounds a bit like an echo, but he still heard every word. Luke blinks, then stands up quickly.]

W-Wait! Were you looking for me?

[He's raising his voice a bit, too, if only so that he can hear himself. Upon realizing this, he glances away.]

We can write if you want to...

I'm not writing this, are you joking? [Uuuugh, he knew he should have waited. This is such a hassle.] Just tell me when your hearing's fixed properly.

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