I've known for a long time that I'm going to die. I've spent months and months looking for Van, looking for a cure, trying to do everything I can to stop myself from just disappearing. You want morbid? Try living every day of your life wondering when you'll be too weak to lift your sword anymore, wondering when the fonons of your heart decide they're too degraded to keep it beating.

I want to at least know if I died with some dignity, goddammit...!