[Asch is quiet as he listens, eyes enigmatic, thoughtful. He remains silent for a long moment after Guy finishes, trapped in his own thoughts, unable to vocalize them until he's sure of what he wants to say. Even as he speaks, he buries his face against Guy's neck. He's so, so grateful the other man is there, but lacks the courage to say as much.]
I don't know what I want anymore. When I first got here, all I wanted was to go back. I had so much left to do, and I didn't trust Luke to do it for me. Not to mention he was here anyway. [A pause.] ... And I didn't want to have to watch you - the other you - and him together. It was one more thing that he had and I didn't, and I couldn't handle it.
[He sighs softly; this part's hard.] But then... the Guy that was here before started spending time with me, going out of his way to try and cheer me up. It helped. But I was just getting comfortable with things when he disappeared. The Malnosso brought back a Guy that didn't want anything to do with me. [Again, Guy gets a little squeeze, the warmth fading for a moment before he boosts it back up again. No need to make Guy endure the cold just because of a bad memory.]
...And then they brought you. You changed everything. And going back means losing too much for me to really want it.
[Action]
I don't know what I want anymore. When I first got here, all I wanted was to go back. I had so much left to do, and I didn't trust Luke to do it for me. Not to mention he was here anyway. [A pause.] ... And I didn't want to have to watch you - the other you - and him together. It was one more thing that he had and I didn't, and I couldn't handle it.
[He sighs softly; this part's hard.] But then... the Guy that was here before started spending time with me, going out of his way to try and cheer me up. It helped. But I was just getting comfortable with things when he disappeared. The Malnosso brought back a Guy that didn't want anything to do with me. [Again, Guy gets a little squeeze, the warmth fading for a moment before he boosts it back up again. No need to make Guy endure the cold just because of a bad memory.]
...And then they brought you. You changed everything. And going back means losing too much for me to really want it.