dissonates | [Locked to Guy]

[Guy's boot scrapes across the shingles as he catches himself, and straightens his collar. He doesn't look at Asch.]

[Asch watches him for a long moment, breathing deeply and forcing himself to calm down. Finally he stands up, looking ahead instead of at Guy.]

I'm not like you - I can't look at it the way you can. There's no room for logic in my emotions, no discussions on 'what if' or 'when'. I feel whatever I feel, and deal with problems as they come. And looking at us now, I'm glad of that.

[Guy glances at Asch briefly before turning away again, reaching up to rub his shoulder uncomfortably.

In that one glance, though, if Asch was paying attention he might have spotted something; a hint of longing, fear, maybe even loneliness. Maybe even a glint of something resembling Guy's expression when Asch had been returned to him in bloody ribbons just a few months before.

As quickly as it showed it was put away, and Guy sighed and waved a hand.] Fine, fine. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to treat this so casually.

[Thank god for peripheral. Asch glances sidelong at him as he speaks, expression a mixture of wariness and pain. It takes him a while to respond.]

You can be honest with me. If you're afraid of losing this, losing me, you can tell me. You don't have to be infallible.

I'm not trying to be infallible.

Yes you are. You always want to be the one people can trust, the one everyone can rely on. The strong person who never needs help, because you think you've been through enough to know better. But you're not, Guy. You're not some perfect therapist. [He closes his eyes, then looks over to meet Guy's eyes steadily.] You're just as screwed up as the rest of us.

[Guy glares back for a second. This conversation isn't spot on, but it's way too close for comfort.] You think I don't know that?

[Asch shrugs a little.] I wonder if you forget sometimes. Or you pretend that you do.

[Saying "you don't understand me," would probably be childish borderlining on infantile, so Guy swallows the urge to do so and just looks away.]

[Asch stands quietly for a moment, then looks away, lips pursing.] I know you don't like what I'm saying, so I have this to say, and then I'll go: you can spend all the time you want preparing for the worst, but be careful you don't sacrifice what you're worried about losing even sooner.

[Guy is silent for a good long while, probably long enough for Asch to assume the conversation is concluded and begin to climb his way down.

Then he mumbles something.]

[Asch had in fact started heading down again; at the sound, though, he stops, but he doesn't turn back.]

...What?

I don't.

...want to even consider it. Ever.

[That makes Asch turn back, brows lifting slightly. He waits, uncertain.]

[Guy just draws up his knees, bowing his head.]

...sorry.

[...Sigh. The whole situation is so... so stupid. Asch finally moves back, sitting down beside Guy once more, leaning shoulder to shoulder with him.] ...Idiot.

[Guy snorts, but leans against him in response.]

I am. Out of all the people here, you'd probably get it.

[He winds an arm around Guy's shoulders, tugging him a bit closer.]

I've had enough lectures about my own idiocy. Stupid Fabre genes. Maybe they're contagious.

Maybe. [Guy doesn't provide much more insight than that, though. He reeeeeally hates talking about what troubles him.]

[Asch shakes his head slightly, bumping his head against Guy's.] It's okay for you to want something. To fight for it.

[Guy has to work his way through that before he can manage to respond.] ...after Hod fell...Pere took me inland. We went to Saint Binah; he posed at my grandfather. It wasn't safe to go to the Capital until things calmed down.

[Asch knows better than to ask why he's sharing; he learned that last time. Instead, he sits quietly and listens.]

He had to find a job; it wasn't that hard, but Pere was suffering his own losses, and trying to find places for us to stay until he could earn enough to get us somewhere secure. I was mostly left to my own devices. Even after that...he called me Guy, but I was Master Gailardia. And I'd never been horribly familiar with him before then. A few years after that, I was employed at the manor.

...roundabout explanation of why I just...don't like talking about myself. I guess.

...No one who's had a difficult life wants to talk about it. When you think that nobody will understand, there's no point in explaining yourself.

...I don't want you to go. But I...don't want to cause any more trouble than I already have.

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]