dissonates | [Action]

Entry tags:

[Action]

[It's morning, and Asch is paying a visit to the smithy to look into getting his Maestro sword sharpened; it's been a while, and you can only do so much without giving it a proper filing. While he's there waiting for his request to be processed - or waiting for a free spot in the workshop to do it himself if necessary - he browses around the store at the new arrivals, wanting to check on what kinds of blades have shown up. And that's about when he stumbles upon something he definitely wasn't expecting to see.

So within a few hours, Asch can be found heading home through the snow with two swords, one at his hip and the other simply carried by his side, though he's careful with it, as if it's some kind of sacred weapon. He's looking for someone specific, but feel free to stop him en route to House 5 if you're around.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Guy blows out a breath and gives Asch his back, rubbing his forehead and leaning against the doorjamb.]

...Asch, can I ask you something?

[Oh geez. Asch already has a feeling he isn't going to like this any more than he liked the first question.]

...What?

Why are you going through all this trouble if it's easier for you to just pack up and go? If that's what you prefer to do?

It's not- that's not what I prefer! I made a choice, and it was wrong. It's not the first time I've done it.

So what are you going to do about it then?

[Guy why are you asking all the hard questions.]

...I still don't know. I'm here, aren't I? Isn't that a start?

You're here in body and that's it. You're ignoring me in every way that you possibly can without outright leaving again. I feel like I'm making you angry just by existing.

[Guy exhales, his back still to Asch.]

I know that's not how you feel. It's easy enough to assume that you're just awkward about this, but even I can't survive on assumptions. I wish you'd just open your mouth and talk to me sometimes, instead of leaving me to deduct these things on my own just because I can.

["If you can figure it out by yourself, why don't you?" ...is what he wants to say, but even Asch has enough of a brain-to-mouth filter to know that's not the right thing to say. He has to give himself some time to ponder that one over; repeating the fact that he's terrible about this sort of thing would be redundant to the nth degree. Lying would be counter productive. Explaining himself...

...probably disastrous, since he's almost certain it'll only come out wrong. But at the moment it's the only option with an ounce of potential.

Here goes.]

...I'm not angry. I'm... frustrated. I don't understand how I'm supposed to help you the way you want me to when who I am is part of the problem the start with. I want to help but... I don't know how, either. Do I just listen? Do I push you? All that ever does is cause fights. How do I help without fighting you?

[Guy deflates.

He doesn't know either.]

...I don't know.

I just know that I hate it when you hold me out at arm's length.

[It's not like Asch enjoys it either. But...]

...I...

...

[Dammit forever.]

...I'm scared. That it's over. That we won't be able to fix this.

[He hates admitting it, he hates it. It's weak, it's a defeat, it's just as terrifying to say it aloud.

But it's the truth.]

...I still love you.

...But is that enough?

It's a start, isn't it?

[Not a very good one, really. But it's true nonetheless, so Asch can't help but nod. Their feelings haven't changed, right? Even if... if their situation has.]

Would you mind if I hugged you?

Yo- what? [Yeah he was definitely not expecting that.]

[Guy's going to take that as a "go right ahead" and reaches over to tug Asch against him and into a hug. It's not really a romantic hug or even a desperate one.

Just...a hug.]

[The hug surprises him, even with Guy's request coming first. Asch doesn't move, stunned into cooperation, and it takes him a long moment to finally be okay with it enough to respond, his arms lifting shakily to rest on Guy's back. Is this okay? Is it really okay?]

You okay? [Guy squeezes Asch a bit.]

[Asch doesn't move, except to tighten his fingers slightly at Guy's back.]

I want to be. I want this... to be okay.

[Asch you always make things so difficult.

Guy laughs a bit, the sound more air than anything and he rubs Asch's back reassuringly.]

It's okay. There isn't a set of rules we have to follow or anything.

If there aren't any guidelines, I'm just as lost with this as ever... I can't do it right. [Has he ever? Just what has he been doing all this time?]

Hey, what did I just say to you? No rules doesn't mean you don't know how to do something right, it means you can't possibly do it wrong.

[Guy pulls back and holds Asch's face; in the back of his mind he admires the way Asch's hair slips up and over his hands and realizes with an ache how much he's missed touching it.]

Do I seem like the kind of person who's going to throw you out of my life over something so small? I couldn't keep away from you for longer than a couple weeks.

[And Asch is pretty sure his face can't get much more red than it turns right about now.

He's pretty sure Guy is wrong- he can still screw things up, still do it wrong. The potential is always there, and he's very good at doing things wrong. But Guy believes in him, and that... well. It means a good deal more than that annoying fear of failure.

As pathetic as he is, someone thinks he's worth it.]

[Red, red, red. Will it ever stop? He jerks back, trying in vain to quell his frustrated embarrassment.]

...Then... you should hurry the hell up and get over your problems already...!

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

Re: [Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action] 1/2

[Action]