dissonates | Appointments Post

Appointments Post

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Asch...

If he ever asks you, you're going to tell him the same thing, aren't you? That you didn't die from those wounds. But ... that doesn't actually answer the question of if you died.

Of course I'd tell him that. You think I'm going to lie just to make him cry about it or something?

[What kind of person does she take him for? Hasn't she realized that Luke's frequent angsting is what annoys him?]

And you should realize that if you don't know the truth, you won't need to keep any secrets. Stop acting like it's for him when you're just being nosy!

... being nosy? [ she laughs, weakly. ] Asch... you're not the kind of person I'd talk to unless I really had to. I definitely wouldn't contact you like this just because I was curious about something that ... really isn't any of my business.

[ she sighs. It's not her business, but it is Luke's. And he was so upset. If she has to lie to him and pretend she believes Asch lived, she wants a good reason. Asch isn't giving her what she hoped for. Of course, it was kind of a vain hope, anyway... ]

Okay. You didn't die. [ No one lives through wounds that leave scars like that. No one. She still smiles. ] I'm glad, then.

Whatever you say. [He has a feeling she doesn't believe him, but that's her problem, not his. He's not about to admit that he died when he hasn't, even if it's a pretty certain thing that he will in the future. It's not his fault that she phrased the question conveniently.

...Not that he's any more likely to tell her the truth if she did ask the right way.]

[ She's content to leave it at that. Asch is incredibly hard to talk to, and she meant it when she said she wouldn't talk to him more than was strictly necessary.

But just before she closes the journal, something occurs to her.

"If you don't know the truth, you won't need to keep any secrets."

... he's so belligerent about it, it hadn't really sunk in ... the nature of what he'd said.

He's actually, honestly doing her a favor. Because her suspicions are just that: suspicions. ]

Asch, you ... [ a pause. ] ... you know, if I didn't know any better, sometimes I'd think you really did care. [ Another smile, this one quite crooked. She's half-teasing, but ... she can't help but be a little taken aback. In his own, Asch-y way, it feels very much like he's trying to protect them. ]

[jkhfkjdshkjfhf. WHAT DID SHE HAVE TO GO AND SAY THAT FOR]

What!?

[ ohgod don't laugh don't laugh don't laugh don't laugh ]

Well ... it just feels like you're trying to protect us. ... in your own way.

I am not!! Don't shove your stupid theories on me! [STUPID REPLICAS, STUPID REPLICAS. What is it with them and being all emotional and touchy-feely, god.]

But you just....! [ okay, so she laughs. very quietly, though! and only once! ... but still. she laughed. ] You always get so mad! It's not a bad thing. I think it's really sweet.

Get this straight- the only thing I'm trying to do is make my life easier! If that dreck is worrying about me it'll just be a pain. It has nothing to do with protecting anyone but me!

[ okay, okay, fine, calming down now. if only to consider him, and find him very strange. ]

... then why help me, too? You said yourself that if I don't know the truth, I won't have to lie.

I already told you- it's none of your damn business! You don't even know me! Why should I tell you anything!?

... no, I really don't know you at all. But I'm starting to wish I did. [ gently ] You're a strange person, Asch. You still talk to me even though you know what I am.

If I'm forced to tolerate my own replica every day, I can deal with the rest of you. I don't see anything strange about that.

... "the rest of us"? [ ... besides her and Luke, who could he be referring to? Huh. She shakes her head. ] It's just ... I really don't know how to describe it! You act so mean, but ... then you do these things that are kind. Do you really only care about yourself...? [ very rhetorical. cuz she don't believe that, either. ]

I care about myself because I can't trust anyone else. That's all.

[And no, he's not going to tell her why, or even about "the rest of us", either. She's lucky he's still talking after all she's said.]

[ Again, she pulls up short. .......... he doesn't trust anyone else? No one at all? .... ]

There isn't ... anyone?

[ ... that's ... that's so sad. ]

That's not your business either.

[Even if he did trust a few, it doesn't mean he has a reason to trust her.]

[ a little indignantly ] You're the one who said it!

You asked me a question and I answered it! I don't have any obligation to tell you anything I don't want to!

[Don't try to get all high and mighty about logic, little replica girl.]

Then don't say anything! Jeez, I swear you work at being impossible to understand. Do you ever... take compliments, or ... do you ever smile? [ He got her going, now he gets to deal with the ~~full life~~ consequences. ]

What the hell kind of question is that? It's not important or relevant to anyone!

It's relevant to you. [ softly, not raising her voice to meet his anger. ]

Shut up! Don't make me say it again!

[What the hell does this have to do with anything!]

[ ... he and Luke are possibly the most polar opposite people she has ever met. Which, considering the circumstances... there's a certain irony to it.

She's silent for a moment. "Why are you so angry?" is the question that's been on her mind this whole time, but that she hasn't asked. After all, she hasn't forgotten their first conversation. When he asked her if her original knew ... if that original had lost anything.

When she'd explained, he'd said nothing. Asch... she can only guess what he lost. Short, perhaps, of his very own life. But maybe ... in his shoes ... she'd be angry, too. ]

... I'm sorry. I guess I just ... think you should have a reason to smile too.

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