dissonates | Appointments Post

[It's when Guy finally sits down that Asch finally lets go of some of his anger, and what's left is mostly confused surprise. Maybe even uncertainty. After a long moment he turns back and slumps against the tree again, arms dropping to his sides. He's not ready to sit and get all chummy with Guy, sure. But... he can stay for a while. Hear him out.

That really wasn't the response to his outburst that he'd expected.]

...Made up your mind... how?

[He doesn't need promises. Guy's made them before - not this Guy, but Guy nonetheless - and in the end they'd only hurt him. He doesn't want that again. But... maybe a clearer idea of what Guy wants, what his end goal is... even just a hint would be enough. A start.

A start of what?

God, he has no idea. He's too paranoid and sick of disappointment to theorize about it. But Guy's here now, seeking him out, when he'd wanted Asch as far away as possible, before. That has to mean something. For good or ill, he'll see this through for a while.]

[It's not something he feels he can answer so bluntly. But Asch seems to be settled, which is a comfort on its own. It's a sign that yes, he'll listen after all. Guy didn't want to make this any showier than it already was, but the space between them is already raw with confusion and anger and not knowing what to think of the other person, alike and yet different from the person they'd known before.

He rests his arms against his knees, fingers loosely weaved together.]

The last time we spoke, back on Auldrant, I had a hunch that you were finally trying to put that past of yours behind you. You hadn't quite managed it yet, though. You had to settle things with Luke and find your own way. [Thumbs fidget against his palms - cut it out, that fight couldn't be prevented. To be upset isn't going to help. Just finish your thought.]

...

If you could find a purpose as Asch, despite what life did, then... well, we'd have come full circle, I guess. We'd both be different than how we met. You would no longer be the son of an enemy, and I no longer your servant.

[He straightens up just enough to finally meet Asch's eyes, that same attempt at a smile, genuine but just barely there. He needs to see a reaction to this.]

We'd start over. Just as people.

[And again, Asch's reaction is mostly stunned silence, at least at first. He stares, taking in those words, the smile, the surrealism of this Guy in this place smiling at him like that, and he's not sure what to do with it. It seems like such a small thing, but it's worlds away from how they'd started out. He's honestly not sure what to make of it, or whether or not he should allow himself to be taken in. He's done this song and dance three times already, and he's honestly sick of letting himself enjoy it just long enough to get his heart ripped out. Again.

He does like the sound of that, though. Just... being a person. It's what he's been slowly working towards over the years, and this is the only place where it's even possible anymore. The thought of having that again is...

...dammit... goddammit.

He still can't say no to Guy.

Glancing down, he purses his lips, unable to look at that smile any more without knowing exactly what it means. He wants to believe that it's honest. He has no way of proving it one way or the other.]

...Do you really think that's possible?

Who knows.

[It's casual, even as he lets himself lean back, elbows propping him up, one ankle crossing the other. Maybe it's a stark contrast to how uncomfortable Asch is, but really, Guy's just good at hiding it.]

There's a lot of things that people think are impossible. I think that's why you have to just... try for yourself.

[For years, he thought retribution would not come until blood had been shed. Now that he was here, that death already on him like a brand, it was startling how little it solved. Maybe because he really had moved on. Maybe because the action wasn't entirely his own. But for a long time, he thought that anything but revenge would be impossible.

And yet, this is where life had led them.]

[He's not a big fan of trying. He's not particularly good at it, and it tends to end in either failure or outright exploding in his face. It's hard to be optimistic when you've led the kind of life he has.

For Guy to suggest it, though - and to him especially - is enough to give him reason to pause and think about it, though. At least consider the possibility. The potential, even. It's not like he could ever expect a miracle, or a return to what he had before. He wouldn't want it even if it could happen. (The damage it had caused? Once was enough.) But...

...friends...

...Ha. Best to wait and see if "acquaintance" sticks, first.]

I'm not very good at this, you know.

You didn't used to be that good with a sword, either.

But you still practiced.

[An ancient memory, but still a true one. It really was one of the many things the two Fabre shared. Whether it was because of the time Van poured into them, the rush, the praise, or the power, both worked as hard as they could when it came to the sword. For very different reasons, sure, and yet they were both skilled fighters now.

It's a simple implication. If Asch could try that, then he could try this as well.

Guy trying it... yeah, that would be interesting enough. But delving into his personal reasons isn't a smart option. Besides, at least he bothered to call himself friendly or at least act the part when necessary. Asch either didn't have that luxury or didn't care enough to pursue it.]

...You want me to practice... being a person?

[That sounds like, at the same time, both the most ridiculous and yet most legitimate suggestion he's ever received.

And he has no idea whatsoever how to utilize it. As usual.

Ugh.

...He can't believe Guy remembers all of that, though. He noticed that?]

[He notices a lot more than you might have thought, Asch. Whether he'd be bothered to talk about or not, though? Good luck.

Meanwhile he is going to try and fail to hold back a sputtered laugh. Sure, okay, that was kind of what he was saying. But the way he put it wasn't exactly what he was going for.]

Does it matter what I want you to do?

[His palms are up for a moment before Asch can bother to get huffy about that.]

If it's not something you're good at, and you want to get better, you have to get yourself involved in some way. Sitting and thinking and worrying about what to do or not do isn't going to change much, except make you worry even more about the "what-if's".

The only way to beat that is to do something. So yeah. You could call it practice.

[Asch's response, after a pause, is a somewhat indignant snort, and the very beginnings of a fractured smile as he glances off to the side. Practice being a person. Or, perhaps more literally - and comfortably to consider, since the alternative would be like saying that he isn't a person now, in which case, screw you - practice being with people. Which is what Guy had wanted from him, last time.

"Does it matter what I want you to do?"

...Heh. Well.]

I work at the bar. Do you know why?

[If there's ever a place to "practice", it's a social setting. And there's still some nights where he'd love to set the whole place on fire and walk away, but he hasn't quit yet. That's something.]

Lost a bet, maybe?

[It's said with a shrug, far from a serious response and staying open enough to let the redhead explain himself. Of course he doesn't know why. Seeing Asch actively working in a place like that wasn't what Guy would have expected, sure, but he could say without a doubt that the redhead wasn't doing it for fun. Really, the whole time Guy had been in there tonight, Asch barely shifted from his regular sour demeanor.

Sure, that could have been because of him being there in the first place, but he'd rather throw that idea out the window for right now.]

It's not work I'd picture you enjoying.

[His first remark earns Guy a bit of a glower (again), but somehow Asch manages to shrug it off. It's actually easier, with Guy acting a bit more like he's used to, rather than the glaring, hateful version he'd experienced last time around. And at the same time, it's almost too much to endure; he keeps catching himself before he responds too flippantly, or even playfully- like they were already friends instead of just not enemies. A behavioural turn-around like that would just make him look suspicious and stupid. Or worse, like Luke.

He doesn't want either of those.]

It has its moments, for good or ill. But the one who convinced me to try it was you.

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