dissonates | [Written...? / Action, May 20th and beyond]

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[Written...? / Action, May 20th and beyond]

[It starts with a hum.

It's quiet, barely perceptible, like a fruit fry buzzing away in someone's ear. Across the village, it starts flickering to life in the mind of one Luke fon Fabre, miles away, awake and unaware and waiting for it.

The hum becomes a whisper. Wordless noise. An echo of something that used to be alive and loud and binding. Intrusive, almost, and yet not- because something missed, needed, eagerly and anxiously awaited is rarely unwanted.

The whisper becomes words, messy and jumbled and confused, a thought process born of desperation, fear, pain, loneliness. The words of the dead, or the dying, or the living. Of all three at once.

I'm here.

imhereimhereimherereplicaimherewhereareyou

help me

Alive. Alive.

And calling for him.]

[It's much later - after he's found, after he's awake and aware of his new situation - that Asch finally touches the journal. He toys with the controls, flips through the pages quietly, listening to everything that's open to hear. It feels... startlingly normal. Just your average day in Luceti. Life does go on without you- but then, he knew that long ago. This is nothing new.

...Well, almost nothing. It's hard to do much of anything when you can't see the world you're used to seeing around you. Not for the first little while, anyway. By touch and trial-and-error he finds the camera eventually, and he scribbles out a bit of nonsense in what he thinks is the entry area that almost looks like words, he sends out a few misfired comments to complete strangers, and in the end he thinks the entire journal system isn't nearly user-friendly enough. Eventually he gives up and sets it aside, leaving it open. Just. Listens.

It's not much. But for the moment, it'll do.]

((ooc: okay so here's the deal- Asch is back from the dead and blind. He'll be in the clinic for a while while he gets used to it, so feel free to use this post as a catch-all in case people want to visit/stumble upon him for the entire week. His scribble entry is also sort-of posted with a slightly-obscured picture, so if you'd rather use the voice function to bug him, feel free |D Word will probably get around that he's back one way or another.

Luke may or may not be with him depending on the time of visit; more often than not, he will be ~~attached at the hip~~ keeping an eye on Asch and helping him to see. He might also be asleep or taking a break. Feel free to specify; if he is there, he probably won't speak much (to save Kukki's inbox and to simplify things), so it's just a matter of whether or not your character will be seen.))

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[....Heh.]

You're going to get me into trouble again, dreck.

[He says it in that odd, not-really-venomous tone, though, with the same not-smile on his lips, as he brushes his fingers through Tsuae's fur, drawing on the cat's gentle reassurance. He quietly drops the visual from the link once more, just for now, allowing his sense of touch to guide him. Tsuae's always had soft fur, and when the cat starts to smile, he ducks his head a little.]

Well, I'm not going to complain.

[...Thanks.]

If anyone's going to get into trouble, it'll be me. I'm the one who brought him in here.

[Which means Asch has free reign to blame Luke for it. Now that Luke can feel the link weakening, he looks at Asch's face instead.

... Yeah, he knew that bringing the cat in was a good idea.]

There's something I wanted to say, too...

[Asch is quiet for a moment, just focusing on the cat. He hears what Luke says, of course, but he wants this center of calm, first. He's discovered recently - since leaving the apartment, since Luke had given him the cat back - that Tsuae had some sort of power to give him that calm if the feline was in the right sort of mood. Apparently today is his lucky day. (...Ha.)

Still purring, Tsuae rubs up against his scratching fingers just long enough to flop and roll over, and- yeah. Calm officially achieved.]

...What is it?

[Luke watches those movements, a little smile quirking up when the cat flops and rolls over. Man, he misses having a cat... but it's good to see Asch like this.

And once Asch asks that question, Luke is silent for a few seconds longer before he lowers his head, letting his forehead rest against his hand now.]

I'm sorry.

I know this whole thing wasn't my fault. But if I didn't call you... I would've been the only one who had to die. This... wouldn't have happened to you.

[His hand grips into the sheets a little. It's still hard to think about, even with Asch alive and right here.]

[Asch lets that sink in, lips pursing tightly. His hand goes still against Tsuae's fur, and eventually he reaches over, trying to find Luke's hand. At first it might seem like it's trying to hold it, but his hand keeps traveling upwards- following a path along Luke's arm, shoulder, neck, ear, and finally to the top of his head.

Then he lifts his hand and gives his replica a solid bonk. Probably a little harder than he ought to, but without apology. He looks, for the first time since his revival, genuinely angry.]

Idiot. You stupid, stupid bastard- if you ever say anything like that again, I'll kill you myself.

[Luke wasn't sure what Asch was doing at first, but he allowed it. He merely watched Asch's hand as it traveled along his arm, shoulder, head, and -

BONK?]

Ow! [He covers his head and rests his forehead on the bed - jeez, that smacked his head against the bed too. And he only looks up when Asch finishes talking, looking more confused than anything.]

What? But Asch... [Asch is blind, he died, and if Luke didn't call him he wouldn't have - Why is he so angry about Luke owning up to it?]

[But nothing. Asch withdraws his hand to rest at his side once again, turning his head aside, still with that fierce scowl on his face.]

But nothing. What the hell do you think would have happened if I hadn't shown up?

[He's quiet for a few seconds, before he lowers his head to rest against his wrist again.]

I would've been the one to die. [Not Asch. Asch might not have even gotten hurt, having been away from the scene.]

To be killed, you mean. Murdered. By Guy.

[And he'll just let that sink in, leaving the obvious statement of fact unspoken.

What would do to him?]

[There are so many protests Luke wants to raise up.

It's okay if I die. I'm already dying, it'd speed up the process. Maybe it would've been better like that. You wouldn't have had to die. You wouldn't be blind. You'd be able to see and live. Guy would understand. Guy...

...

Guy.

Would've murdered his best friend.

...

So, despite his protests, that one sticks out so much that he stays quiet. His posture doesn't change; he can't help the guilt, he can't help that feeling of helplessness and sorrow. But he won't argue. He just isn't about to admit that this could possibly be better.]

[Asch gives it a moment, waiting to see if Luke responds or gives any indication that he's going to. It's hard, waiting in the dark like this, but opening the link now would just complicate things, and possibly let some of what he's feeling pass through it. He... doesn't want that. Not now. Not with what they're talking about.

Not with what he's about to say.]

Stop regretting it- it's better this way. Killing me doesn't matter to him, and that's how it should be.

[Not how he wants it, but... well, what could possibly change that? The very idea of trying just makes his chest hurt. So he puts on the best neutral expression he can muster and pretends, like always, that it doesn't matter at all.

Someday, surely, it really won't.]

[Luke can remember when he arrived here, how Guy and Asch were together. Yes, it had freaked Luke out at first. And truth be told, the idea of them together is still weird. He can't imagine how it started, can't imagine them being close like that.

... But it still must hurt. All he can think of is if Xion went home and came back, didn't just forget him, but hated him, even killed him. And to think that it wouldn't matter to her, that that's how it ought to be...

He lifts his head up to look up at Asch, eyes wide and teeth gritted. How can he say that? How can he act like he's okay with it?]

Don't say it like that! Don't say it's better! It would've been better if it didn't happen at all!

Edited 2012-06-13 22:54 (UTC)

Of course it would. [Asch's response is sharp, attempting to mask the way the situation has still left him emotionally sore. It's thinly masked, but better than it was earlier this afternoon.] It's not like I wanted to die. All I'm saying is that if one of us had to die, it's best that is was me.

[Logical. He has to think of it that way. It's the only way that will keep it from hurting too much.]

[Luke hates hearing this. As much as it made sense, he hated hearing it, hated thinking that it was true. And he knew that Asch would stay strong in this stance and that, maybe, it was better for him to think about.

So, Luke decides not to talk about it anymore. He stands abruptly and takes a few steps away, back turned to Asch, his glare fixed on the floor with his hands clenched at his sides. If they keep going, they'll just keep arguing, and that's not something either of them need right now.]

[He knows that Luke doesn't like it, which is why Asch doesn't push the issue; he's made his point, anyway. He listens to Luke's footsteps, wondering briefly if his replica is going to leave outright, but when they stop and he still feels Luke's presence in the room, he shifts his hand to return to petting Tsuae's fur. Fighting about this would be pointless, anyway- they're both just going to be brick walls on the subject. It's a while before he speaks again.]

I'll be fine, you know.

[Asch is right about the two of them. They're both so stubborn that they'll never give in to what the other says, even if it's logical. It's just the way they are.

So the change of subject is good, even though Luke would rather talk about something else. Still, he's silent for a moment before letting out a sigh.]

I know. But if you ever need to see anything...

You shouldn't be letting me take advantage of the link like that. I won't adjust to this properly.

[Which is what he says, but he's not severing the link, either. It feels wrong to do so now, after everything that's happened.]

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[Written...? / Action, May 20th and beyond]

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[action] wow the cat was supposed to be PURRING there, oops

[action] no clearly asch owns the cheshire cat

[action] the mental image of them trolling someone together is now terrifying

[action] oh god it really is

[action] /EVIL SMIRKING IN THE DARK OHOHO

[action] /SCREEEEE

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