Asch the Bloody (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dissonates) wrote2012-09-22 09:17 pm
dissonates) wrote2012-09-22 09:17 pm
[Action]
[Since a certain someone's arrival, Asch has been kind of cranky and not particularly social, which has suited him just fine, besides having to endure appearing more pathetically lonely than usual. It's not like he really cares what other people think of him anyway (usually). Apparently there's some kind of party going on today, which makes him want to go out even less, so he's content to stay inside and keep out of the way. Parties? Not his thing.
But apparently some people have other ideas.
Eventually he will escape the party (greatly relieved to be away from it, whether he enjoyed himself at all or not), and will instead hang around outside the building trying to gather what's left of his dignity before he heads home. He just wants an uneventful walk in the dark (because it's always dark for him) and a long night's rest.
And apparently he's not allowed to do that, either.
Only when he makes it home does he finally take steps towards contacting a certain scientist who can get his body back to normal. Four months is long enough to be fumbling around in the dark without his replica nearby.]
But apparently some people have other ideas.
Eventually he will escape the party (greatly relieved to be away from it, whether he enjoyed himself at all or not), and will instead hang around outside the building trying to gather what's left of his dignity before he heads home. He just wants an uneventful walk in the dark (because it's always dark for him) and a long night's rest.
And apparently he's not allowed to do that, either.
Only when he makes it home does he finally take steps towards contacting a certain scientist who can get his body back to normal. Four months is long enough to be fumbling around in the dark without his replica nearby.]
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He wants to tell Guy to leave. He wants that so much, because he's so sick of hurting, and it took so long to just get over this and deal with it, and he really wants Guy to be the one to experience that pain, too. That would be fair, wouldn't it? To spread that pain around a bit? Hasn't he been through enough already?
But...
....
Dammit.]
You always have to make it so damn hard, don't you? To refuse you...
[His voice is quiet, hands tightly grasping the counter, his knuckles going white. He hates not knowing the future, where this will take them. That's the really awful thing he's come to realize in this place, over the years- back home he'd hated the Score and all it stood for, but at least he'd always known his place, his future. He'd followed Van, and then he'd followed his own path, but he'd had a goal, an end game. He knew the inevitable end, the only unknown factor was how much he could accomplish before he died. Now even death is neither an escape or anything to fear. Life itself is a blessing and a curse that never ends.
This is what drives people mad here, isn't it.]
I can't just... forget you. If it was that easy I'd have done it more than a year ago, and this wouldn't be so difficult. But to get that close again is...
[Terrifying. That's the only word he can think of, and he can't bring himself to say it, either. He feels like he's standing on the edge of a cliff, and letting himself fall would just cause more pain, so why not back off? Find more stable ground? But there is none in a place like Luceti, and he's so sick of being alone, but he can't just let anyone in, and...
...he's so predictable. So pathetically cyclical.
He hasn't learned a thing, has he?]
...what do you want from me?
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Guy feels fifty tons lighter.
It's not a no.]
We start small. Baby steps.
Not start over, I don't think we can do that, but...maybe I can make you dinner sometimes, if you don't feel like cooking.
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Baby steps.]
More like if I can't. And Ginji has no idea what to do with a kitchen, except maybe fix the coffee maker.
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[He never has, actually; since his arrival in Luceti, he's always had someone to return to, company at dinner or in their own room or greeting him as he enters.
It's... a startling realization.]
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[Though knowing Guy, he'll invade the place as much as he likes now that he knows that he's welcome.
...Hmm. Well, that's probably acceptable.]
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Okay! Well- then you can let me know. [Nope Guy doesn't sound all happy and relieved or anything.
...oh right he should probably leave. It's late and stuff.]
I better get going. Let you rest; you were probably on your way back to do that anyway, and then I. Followed you and all.
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[Yeah, he's not afraid to remind Guy of that particular distinction.]
Where are you living, anyway? Just in case.
[HE'S NOT GOING TO VISIT YOU OR ANYTHING he just... likes... to know these things...]
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[Easy to get to, at least.]
...I guess I'll see you around.
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[Guy moves to the door to let himself out, but pauses at the entrance to the kitchen.]
Thanks for the tea...Asch.
[He closes the front door quietly behind himself, stands on the doorstop for just a moment, just long enough to start trembling.
Then he breaks into a run, and doesn't stop until he reaches his apartment.]