dissonates | (no subject)

[Both Asch's "physical" form and the fonons tighten a little bit, but it's not a problem.]

You arrive here and...just come to accept it. [Guy shakes his head.] Without the kidnappings, experiments and these weird little wings, this place would be wonderful.

[Asch closes his eyes, a sad resonance entering his form. He can't really help it.]

It's like a real paradise is impossible. Everywhere we go, there's conflict. But here, there's no real death, and pain is temporary... maybe that's why we accept it so easily.

Just something to make us complacent? [Guy murmurs it as if the idea just occurred to him before falling silent.]

...I don't know.

[Asch is quiet for a moment, a hush falling over the music of his soul, as if the entire orchestra is silenced as a ripple- a shudder- passes through it.]

But... I'm happy here. With no world to save, I've been able to change. If not for this place, I'd already be dead. Luceti has made me more selfish than ever.

Edited 2009-01-10 08:32 (UTC)

[Silence. Then-]

I'm happy here too. ...I... [Guy hesitates; it's still really hard to talk about his darker feelings. Like he's not supposed to.]

[Asch waits for him to continue, but with the reassurance of Guy's happiness, the music starts up again, softer now, meant to soothe and relax. There isn't much he can do for Guy, but he wants to keep trying.]

I...I don't want to go back home. [There, he said it. That wasn't so hard...maybe. Of course, now that he's said it he has to rush to explain himself.]

I believed for months and months that Luke would come back; I was the only one who did, besides Tear. Just us two. But after a while I- It just got to be- [Guy sighs, ducking his head.] I'm just...tired. I'm tired of hoping for it. And now that I'm here, with you, and Luke's here too-

They don't...they don't need me there, back home. I'm really not that necessary, and that's fine. Malkuth did fine without the House of Gardios before, they'll manage now. And everyone else, Tear and Natalia and Anise -and Jade, if he goes back- they'll be fine without me. We don't really keep in touch anyhow.

[Asch is quiet as he listens, eyes enigmatic, thoughtful. He remains silent for a long moment after Guy finishes, trapped in his own thoughts, unable to vocalize them until he's sure of what he wants to say. Even as he speaks, he buries his face against Guy's neck. He's so, so grateful the other man is there, but lacks the courage to say as much.]

I don't know what I want anymore. When I first got here, all I wanted was to go back. I had so much left to do, and I didn't trust Luke to do it for me. Not to mention he was here anyway. [A pause.] ... And I didn't want to have to watch you - the other you - and him together. It was one more thing that he had and I didn't, and I couldn't handle it.

[He sighs softly; this part's hard.] But then... the Guy that was here before started spending time with me, going out of his way to try and cheer me up. It helped. But I was just getting comfortable with things when he disappeared. The Malnosso brought back a Guy that didn't want anything to do with me. [Again, Guy gets a little squeeze, the warmth fading for a moment before he boosts it back up again. No need to make Guy endure the cold just because of a bad memory.]

...And then they brought you. You changed everything. And going back means losing too much for me to really want it.

...Reassembled?

That's what I said.

But that means you fell apart! What happened?

It's part of the experiment; my body's incorporeal. Falling apart wasn't harmf-

...Why the hell do you care, anyway? Who -is- this?

Well geez, sorry I care when the people around here fall apart.

I'm Sheena. ...And I think we knew each other a real long time ago here.

It's not something you need to worry about. I don't think this will happen to anyone else, especially not after this long.

Sheena? Your name's familiar... I'll remember it.

Thanks.

...This is part of the experiment, right?

I already told you that. My body's been changed to that of Lorelei, the sentience of the seventh fonon. That means it's just a bunch of elemental particles, so separating isn't a big deal.

...I'm sorry. [Guy closes his eyes, leans against Asch's side a little heavier.] I know it's technically not my fault, but...I'm still sorry.

It's not. It's okay. [Yet another pause; this would be a slow conversation, that much was certain.] I just don't want to go back to that. We're not from the same time. You're from a future where I'm dead... I'm from a past where you don't want me. Even if I manage to avoid dying somehow, it doesn't mean that anything will happen between us again. And I don't want you to forget everything we went through here.

I don't want to go a place where you might not come back.

[Aww, that was sweet, Guy. Asch can't entirely blame Lorelei's influence for the fuzzy feeling that comment causes, and he gives Guy's neck a grateful little nuzzle. He'd be kissing if he could, the sap.]

We'd be leaving a lot behind if we stayed. Is it worth it?

I don't know. This time stuff is tricky; would the world be destroyed if you stayed? [Guy closes his eyes, relaxing.] But if that were the case, I'd be dead right now.

[Asch purses his lips, eyes averting.]

From the sound of things, I didn't really do much in the end besides die and give the replica my hyperresonance. I've already done that here - Auldrant doesn't need me anymore.

[Guy scoffs, but knows it would be hypocritical to say anything so he wisely keeps his mouth shut.]

[He gets a jaded look anyway. As opposed to a Jade look, of course.]

Don't start. The point is, I don't want to go anywhere without you.

...I guess it would be against some cosmic rule if I went back with you. [Is still seriously considering it.]

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