dissonates | [Written

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[The message, tossed on the journal some time in the early afternoon, is short, carefully scripted, and with the camera concealed to keep it anonymous. He has no intention of dealing with the aftermath unless he absolutely has to.]

Luke fon Fabre and Xion have returned to their respective worlds.

[A short while later, another message is sent privately, though not so anonymously:]

[Private to Buffy and Jack (Horner)]

I won't be at the bar tonight. Close it if you want, work the shift yourselves, I don't care.

[After that, he's in the wind. First he goes out into the woods to where Luke was when they last spoke, to check for any signs of what might have been left, then to Luke's apartment to scour the place; he returns with a necklace, a ring, the Jewel of Lorelei, and a lot of hollow feelings.

After that, it's off to the Battle Dome, where he'll spend the next several hours destroying every simulation he can come up with, working his way through several of them one after another. He'll only stop once in a while when, in the midst of his fury and frustration, his body decides it's had enough; his heart seizes up, protesting the way it's being overworked. It's yet feeling the relief of that fact that for the first time in years, the weight of Luke's presence, their connection, no longer exists. His dissonance has been halted but he honestly wasn't prepared for how it would make him feel.

He won't be home for a long time.]

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[Hah.]

Well then, no need to keep writing to me, Anonymous-san.

[ She presses closer to him when he responds. She can feel the way his hands tremble, and it makes her heart ache for him all the more, but at least she could offer him this. Maybe it wasn't much, and it wouldn't change the fact that Luke was gone. But she would do what she could, and she had to hope that it would help. ]

It's okay to be sad.

[He has no idea what a san is, but at least he managed to stay anonymous. Not that he knew this guy anyway.

....

Whatever, he's shutting the journal now.]

[He wants to laugh at that, but he knows how ugly the sound would be. People like him don't laugh because they're happy, and she deserves better.

Still... since when was it ever okay for him to feel sorry for himself?]

It's so pointless...

[ She shakes her head. ]

No, it's not. Sadness is a part of happiness, too. It's okay to be sad, to miss people, because...the reason we miss them was because they made us happy.

Well good. You go have yourself a little pout until you feel better.

...He wasn't supposed to make me happy.

[He needs to stop. He needs to stop talking, to shut up, to leave and get the hell out of this conversation, out of this village, out of this world.]

He didn't. He couldn't. He stole everything from me... someone like that can't...

[He's doesn't like what being here is doing to him.]

I'm not pouting!!

[When Emil hears this, he doesn't respond with words. Instead, he heads right into the kitchen and gets to work on making a batch of extra-chocolatey chocolate chip cookies, because those are the best comfort food ever, at least to his mind. He doesn't even wait for them to finish cooling before he packs them up and sets out in search of Asch-- cookies are best when they're warm, after all.

It might take him a bit of looking around to find the redhead, though, since his first instinct is to check Asch's house rather than Luke's apartment.]

Okay, go beat something up until you feel better. Whatever helps.

[If he's still searching by the time Asch finishes at the Battle Dome, he's free to catch him on his way home. Of course, Asch isn't really keen on talking to anyone, so he's content to just pass Emil by and ignore him unless he's stopped.]

[Asch's only response is a muffled snarl and a slammed journal. Screw you, Jack he does what he wants.

...He will go beat something up, though. Because it might help.]

[Good thing Emil isn't about to let that happen, then. When he spots his friend, he calls out to him, though he's careful to keep a bit of a distance at first, just in case Asch really doesn't want any company right now.]

Asch! Wait up!

[ He stole everything from me. The words make her heart speed up, and she wonders what he means. She doesn't press it, though - she would never press him to open up at a time like this when he was clearly distressed. ]

Happiness can come from unexpected places, too. [ Sometimes it was the most beautiful form of all. ]

[It is with great reluctance that Asch pauses and glances over his shoulder, still deciding whether he'll tolerate conversation or if he just wants to snap at someone. The Battle Dome cleared his head a bit but it can't fill that void in his mind, so now he just feels empty instead.]

[He has no real response to that, merely a sullen silence, his chin resting on her shoulder as if to soak in all this good will she apparently has in droves. At his lowest it's still very easy to think badly of Luke, to fling the blame at him and let his replica be the focus of his anger, because the alternative is... what? Be angry with an intangible enemy capable of sending them home on a whim? Everyone involved in his replication that led him on this life in the first place? The loved ones who forgot about him and accepted an empty replacement? Himself?

...Well. That one's a given anyway. No one hates Asch the Bloody like Asch the Bloody hates himself.]

[ She let the silence linger for a few moments, because sometimes silence could heal better than words. She was holding onto him, and she wasn't leaving his side. Not until she was sure she did what she could for him.

Eventually, she does speak up. ]

We could plant a flower for him at the memory garden.

[Memory garden...

He's never been particularly fond of that whole idea - the thought that someone's existence in a place like this can devolve into a flower in the woods just seems too pathetic - but it's a sentimental thing. Luke likes sentimental. There's a reason for the pendant he's wearing around his neck right now, and the one he'd found in Luke's apartment.]

...I've got some selenias back at the house. He likes those.

[ She takes a step back, though one hand stays gently on his elbow. ]

Let's go get them, then.

[Well. He's committed now, isn't he? At least this'll get him - them - moving, instead of just standing around in the middle of the street. God, if Jade had passed by or something-

He frowns and shoves his thoughts aside, leading the way down the road back to his house. He's not quite pulling away from her, but she's got a whole second to fall into step with him.]

I need to drop a few things off anyway...

[Emil jogs up to him, clutching the bag with the cookies to his chest. It can't replace Luke or Xion, and he knows that, but he still wants to do something for his friend.]

I, um... I thought... here. I made these for you.

[And he holds the bag out, looking at once sheepish and hopeful.]

[Asch hesitates, then takes the bag, unsure and puzzled until he opens it and peers inside. ...Ah. Cookies. He looks up again, his eyebrow lifting. Why is he getting cookies...?]

I know it isn't going to fix things, but... well, I know that cookies make me feel better when I'm sad, so I thought they might help a little.

[ She does fall into step with him, keeping pace as she smiles faintly. She knew this wasn't typical behavior for him, but she was glad he was taking a chance and doing this with her anyway.

It would make Luke happy. ]

You'll hold onto his things?

[Hrngh. Well, he knows they aren't going to make him feel better, but they won't make him feel worse, either. He shrugs, after a long moment, and closes the bag.]

...Thanks.

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[Written | Action]

[voice] its cool its cool

action; this is getting hot

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action; gonna take mah clooothes ooooff

action; how come every time you come around my london london bridge is falling down

[Voice]

action; when you put your haands ooon meee

[Voice]

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action; my mind's tellin me no, but my body keeps tellin me yeahah

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action; i wanna staaand with you on the mooouuntaaaain

action; i don't see nothin wrong with a little bump n grind

action; I wanna make you feel wanted~

action; sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite meeee

action; not like I faint every time we toooouuuch

[Action]

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action; like a virgin, touched for the very first tiiiiiime

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