dissonates | [Written

[The message, tossed on the journal some time in the early afternoon, is short, carefully scripted, and with the camera concealed to keep it anonymous. He has no intention of dealing with the aftermath unless he absolutely has to.]

Luke fon Fabre and Xion have returned to their respective worlds.

[A short while later, another message is sent privately, though not so anonymously:]

[Private to Buffy and Jack (Horner)]

I won't be at the bar tonight. Close it if you want, work the shift yourselves, I don't care.

[After that, he's in the wind. First he goes out into the woods to where Luke was when they last spoke, to check for any signs of what might have been left, then to Luke's apartment to scour the place; he returns with a necklace, a ring, the Jewel of Lorelei, and a lot of hollow feelings.

After that, it's off to the Battle Dome, where he'll spend the next several hours destroying every simulation he can come up with, working his way through several of them one after another. He'll only stop once in a while when, in the midst of his fury and frustration, his body decides it's had enough; his heart seizes up, protesting the way it's being overworked. It's yet feeling the relief of that fact that for the first time in years, the weight of Luke's presence, their connection, no longer exists. His dissonance has been halted but he honestly wasn't prepared for how it would make him feel.

He won't be home for a long time.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I know it isn't going to fix things, but... well, I know that cookies make me feel better when I'm sad, so I thought they might help a little.

[Hrngh. Well, he knows they aren't going to make him feel better, but they won't make him feel worse, either. He shrugs, after a long moment, and closes the bag.]

...Thanks.

[Now Emil feels confident enough to risk a smile, even if it's only a tiny one.]

I just wish there were something more I could do. I hate seeing any of my friends sad.

I'm not... sad.

[Which is mostly true. More or less.]

More than anything, I'm resigned. They're gone, I'm here. Life goes on.

I know, but... that doesn't mean you won't still miss them.

It's funny... I've been here for almost five years now. You would think you would get used to losing people after all this time, but you don't. It still hurts every time it happens. But in a way, I think that's a good thing.

[Asch can't answer right away; the words resonate with him, and he's not happy about it, not in the slightest. He doesn't want to hurt, he doesn't want to miss people. He's tired of it.

He doesn't want to talk about it, either. Not when it rings so true.

Wordlessly he re-opens the cookie bag, getting one for himself and offering it out to Emil, giving it a shake to indicate that he should take one. If he's chewing, it means he's not talking.]

[Wait... Asch is offering him a cookie? But those were supposed to be a gift for him...

Emil blinks and tilts his head, looking at once surprised and a bit confused.]

... for me? No, it's okay-- I made those for you. You can have all of them. Don't feel like you need to share them with me.

[Asch scowls, shooting Emil a look. Less talking, more eating. He doesn't want to discuss this.]

Just take one.

R-right!

[Taking that cookie now. AND EATING IT. At least he knows they taste good!]

[Yeah, damn right you're gonna eat a cookie. And while it's a little awkward just standing around and eating with someone, it's better than the conversation they'd been having.]

...They're not bad.

Oh... thank you. I'm glad you like them.

[And he smiles a little, because that WAS his objective, after all-- make Asch happier, even if it's only a tiny bit.]

[Asch stands in uncomfortable silence for a moment, chewing until he's finished, then decides he's been polite for a sufficient amount of time. He wasn't out to socialize, after all.]

I should head back. I still have things I need to do.

[Emil nods almost too quickly, just pleased that Asch seems to be in a marginally better mood than he was when he first found the redhead, however slight the improvement may be.]

That's fine; I don't want to keep you from whatever it is you need to be doing. I just wanted to give you the cookies.

...Hm. [He looks for a moment like he has something else to say, then shakes it off and turns to leave, waving vaguely over his shoulder. Nice attempt, Emil. At least he'll have chocolate to console him or something.]

You can always come visit if you want! You know, if you need someone to talk to or anything. I can even make you more cookies too.

[But he won't make any move to stop Asch. Nope, he feels like he's accomplished his goal, so he's pleased.]

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