dissonates | (no subject)

[Asch nearly protested, wanting Guy to go back to bed and keep resting, but the embrace was too tempting, and he couldn't help but close his eyes, resting his head against Guy's hair.]

It's why I've been on edge. It's... why I've gotten possessive of you. I keep waiting for the day when I won't find you... when you'll come back and you'll have forgotten all of this. When that happens you'll go back to the replica, just like before. So... I want to have you, while I can...

[Guy nuzzles the side of Asch's neck.]

You can have me, as long as we can manage it. But...I want you to at least try and be happy even if I'm not around. I want to know that even without me here to make you smile, that you'll still be able to do it.

[A tall order, considering how many of Asch's smiles Guy could take credit for, now. It's far less often that he smiles for his own sake, rather than a smirk at the expense of someone else.]

I've been trying. I don't like getting angry all the time, I just... I've been this way for a long time. I don't trust people... and I know I'm not good at talking to anyone, so I always react badly...

[Why couldn't it come more naturally to him? Why couldn't he have turned adversity into charm, like Guy? Maybe his smiles weren't always genuine, but they made people feel good.]

I know you're trying. I know. And I'm proud of you. [Guy's arms tighten around Asch a bit, and he doesn't lift his head.] I just...worry about you sometimes.

[Asch lifts his hands to grip Guy's arms, shaking a little in his embrace. He doesn't want to say it but his head's screaming to let it out before he breaks.]

I don't... want you to go back. I don't want you to hate me again.

[The shaking is Guy's cue to turn Asch around, straighten up and hug him close. He reaches up to stroke his hair, cheek against his temple.] It's okay.

It's okay.

[It's not okay. It's not, because it's a reality that Asch can't stand. Guy might get sent back, brought in from a different time. From a time when he looked at Asch differently, snapped at him, begrudged him for his father's crimes. When he didn't really care about understanding him.

When he chose the replica.

But Guy's trying to comfort him, and this is the Guy he loves. So Asch doesn't say any of that, arms shifting to hold him back.]

Don't forget this. Please, don't forget me.

[And Guy can't make any promises, can't say "I won't" with certainty that he actually wouldn't forget Asch. The shame of hating someone who's so starved for love and attention, someone who'd been so horribly mistreated, someone whose rough exterior is the result of the injustices forced upon him by other people only looking to advance their own agendas welled up, and he fought to push it back. This wasn't about him; he could deal with his guilt alone, Asch didn't want it and certainly didn't need it. What Asch needed was security...and it was the one thing that Guy couldn't give him.

All he could do was reassure him to the best of his ability.]

...no matter what time I'm from...I'll always be Guy. [Guy turned, brushed his lips against Asch's forehead.] And as long as you show me what I've seen of you so far...I'll never be able to hate you.

[Asch closes his eyes again, hands clenching in the fabric of Guy's shirt. He has no way of knowing what Guy's inner thoughts are, only his own; those being, how much he owed and loved the man he was holding. So much of the happiness he'd managed to find in Luceti was because of Guy, and the allies - friends, even - he'd made were all because of the patience Guy had shown him. Never in his life after the replication had he imagined he'd ever get to experience this.]

I don't know if I'd be able to try again. I don't even know how I'd handle it...

[Guy thought back to losing Luke to Eldrant. Asch had died there as well; his arms tighten, almost desperately.]

...day by day.

[And Asch can't do anything but nod, burying his face against Guy's shoulder.]

Day by day.

[They stay that way for a while, Guy stroking Asch's hair before reluctantly pulling apart. Guy lifts a hand to his mouth to mask a few coughs before swallowing.] I should get back in bed.

...Idiot, you shouldn't have gotten up anyway. [The words are obviously spoken without venom, and Asch hastily moves to help Guy back to bed, brushing his bangs back to check his forehead.] Stop indulging me so much.

What else am I supposed to do when you give me those sorrowful doe eyes? [Also teasing, but Guy allows Asch to bully him back into bed.]

You're supposed to laugh and tell me how pathetic I am, obviously. [Asch sits beside him on the bed again, leaning in to kiss his forehead.]

Well, I could. But then you wouldn't make me seafood. [Guy leans back against the pillows.]

I guess I'm lucky you're so dishonest. [Asch sits back, watching him for a bit, looking kind of lost in thought.]

...what is it?

[...Breathe. Okay. Come on, Asch, you can do this.]

...I'm not... the same as you. I can't forgive so easily, even if I can't place the blame directly on the people I'm angry with. I know I'm negative, and spiteful, and possessive, and just... stupid, sometimes. And I don't think I deserve you, either. But I want this anyway, and... I'll fight for it, for this. I'll fight to keep you, whether it's Luke, or the Malnosso, or death itself that wants to take you away from me. This is what I want, whether or not I'm worthy of it.

[Guy looks at Asch for a minute.

Before he leans over and flicks him square on the forehead.]

[ahjgshjgdf wat.]

What the hell was that for!?

Because you're being really stupid. This, what we have? Not a battle. Not "honor-bound," nothing like that. You don't have to try to be "worthy" of me, I'm not a princess and you're not a pauper. If I didn't think you were good enough, I wouldn't even be here right now.

[Guy sighs. Why must Asch be so dumb?]

I'm here because I love you. There's no deserving, no fighting for me, nothing like that involved. You need to stop trying to fight a current that doesn't exist, Asch, you'll give yourself an ulcer.

......

[Okay, he deserved that. Dammit.]

I was trying to take it seriously.

And we are serious. But not to be taken seriously. [Guy rolls on his side, an arm snaking around Asch's waist as he props his head up with his free hand.]

Having a lover is about being happy. You concentrate too long and too hard on defending your territory and you lose sight of that. You're supposed to be glad, and you're supposed to smile and laugh. That should be how you spend the majority of the relationship, actually, despite a few scuffles here and there. Do you follow me, Asch?

[Asch considers his words again, brows furrowing. Being happy? He is happy, when they're not fighting - which happens surprisingly little, considering it's him. Only his mother and Natalia had this sort of effect on him before being with Guy. Now Guy's become such a huge part of his world that he can't imagine being happy without him.

So with a sigh he leans over till he flops on the bed with Guy, shifting closer to lie more comfortably beside him, snuggling in nice and close.]

I think so. You do make me happy... I need to work on returning the favour.

(no subject)

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action] KEYWORDS SO RELEVANT

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]