dissonates | Appointments Post

Mmn? No thanks. I'll think on it for a bit.

[It's casually dismissive, ended with a bit of a sigh as he leans over to rest his arms against the bartop. He might be casually watching those around him, but his gaze flickers back to the redhead enough that he should know he's not being ignored.

After a moment (and a glance over at Buffy to make sure she's still occupied), he speaks up again, his voice a bit lower.]

I take it you haven't made up your mind.

[Asch glances around them - really, Guy wants to talk here, now? - and then finally lets his gaze drift back to Guy himself.]

...Or maybe I have, and my silence was your answer.

[It wasn't - or rather, he hadn't - but he's wondering if Guy considered that. And what his response might be.]

[All he'll get from that is a raised brow and a very unimpressed glance that doesn't bother to wander.

Someone here doesn't believe you, Asch. He's more than willing to bide his time and see whether the redhead is going to stand his ground on this "maybe" sort of answer.]

[Maybe he'll just smash your stupid brow-lifting face with the glass he's carrying, what then Mr. Gardios-

Okay, no. But he's not happy, not even remotely. Asch glowers back at him for a long moment, then scowls darkly and looks away again.]

Fine, I was putting it off. I still don't see what you're trying to accomplish with this.

[Whatever "this" is, anyway.]

[Hey, a glass to the face would be more telling than the bullshit answer he had gotten a minute ago. Not that Asch would have gone through with it unless Guy had really pissed him off.]

I don't know. Maybe exactly what I said I was going to do?

[The strange wisp of frustrated amusement in his tone doesn't leak onto his expression in the slightest. There's that voice in the forefront of his mind that's nagging him to just back off if Asch is so set on not believing him. But really, he should know better by now. Asch isn't Luke. Asch won't come crawling back to voice the truth at some point. Asch is always the one too stubborn to do something like that.

They have to talk about this at some point. Even if Guy has to leave it alone for now, he knows it's too heavy an issue to leave be.]

[Asch takes a moment to scrutinize Guy's expression, searchingly. He knows, just knows that he can't trust Guy at his word. So rarely is there honesty to be found in what he says, and Asch is tired of it. It's exhausting, picking out the truth in the middle of all the lies. And sometimes it's even a fruitless search to begin with.

For guy to actively seek him out though... not once, but twice... hrngh.

He doesn't like this. But he's getting the very distinct feeling that Guy won't just go away if this conversation doesn't happen. Sooner or later, he'll come back. Again, and again, until he gets what he wants.

Just... get the damn thing over with. Maybe then he'll leave you alone.

With a frustrated exhale, Asch stalks over to the edge of the bar and opens the divider to move to the other side of the counter. He lifts an arm to catch Buffy's attention, dragging on a long coat and pointing to the door, and finally starts towards it.]

Let's take a walk.

[No way is he having some sort of dramatic argument (he assumes it'll get there eventually) in the middle of a public bar.]

[Only when Asch is exiting the counter does Guy finally crack a smile. It's out of relief, more than anything - as much as it might have grated on Asch to be cornered like that, Guy hardly wanted to start something in a public place. A stranger had no business getting involved in something that was already difficult enough to talk out between two people.

There's no fuss made as he follows right behind Asch, shooting Buffy an apologetic grin as he buttons up his own coat and quickly closes the door behind them.

The silence is thick as they step out into the plaza. Where exactly to start with this is a question all on its own, but... better just start with something easy. Maybe they could just talk while they were moving.]

Sorry about that. [He takes a couple steps forward, hands deep in his coat pockets with a quick attempt at a smile.] Anywhere in particular you wanted to go?

[Asch seems to have the same idea- about keeping on the move, anyway. He barely stops to pause, picking a direction - north, to be precise - and carrying on. The plaza's too public, and he can't think of a place in the very-public village where he'd be comfortable sharing this conversation. Thus: out of the village they go. He highly doubts that the wildlife can gossip about him.]

Just keep moving. I'm not interested in this being some passerby's idea of entertainment.

[Especially without knowing how this will go yet...]

[No protests here. All Guy can give is a shrug before Asch is leaving him in the dust, forcing the blond to trot along in his wake.

If either were expecting the stroll to carry any line of conversation, then they would be incredibly disappointed. Asch seems intently focused on moving in one direction, and Guy is too busy pulling together what in the world he is going to say whenever they finally stop. It was better to just assume that Asch would take this the worst way, regardless of what he had said otherwise. Not that the God-General was the type to outright lie, but his pride was always something to be considered. If this incident had left a large enough scar on the redhead, then even the most honest of discussions may not do a lick of good.

It's a silent tug-of-war between him and Asch, broken up by the sound of their footfalls against the dirt. Only when they've walked a good distance does the tension let up a bit, rounding a corner to a hill sparsely covered in dark, spindly trees. Whatever flowers or leaves they might have had had taken quite a beating with the cold weather, leaving it a little on the gloomy side of appearances. But it's plenty secluded from the public. Really, Guy doesn't have any reason to protest... outside just the general atmosphere giving him the creeps.]

...Huh. I wasn't aware Luceti had an orchard like this.

Interesting choice.

[Asch doesn't really look at them when he stops, picking a tree at random and leaning back against it, his arms crossed. He's not about to go into detail about what a comforting place this is for him, about the people whom he'd met here, the ones he was pleasantly reminded of when he stood in this place. Ammy, Miyabi, Rapunzel. People (and a dog, but that's just this place) whom he could call friends.

He's here to see where Guy stands, ally or foe or something else, something in the middle. It seemed appropriate to test him here.

He glances over, giving Guy an expectant look.]

It's secluded enough. Now tell me what you have to say, and I'll listen.

[Well, he'll try.]

[The chuckle Asch gets in return is weak, a knee-jerk reaction with hardly any humor behind it.]

Way to put me on the spot, huh?

[...

He catches that look for just a second before he lets his eyes drift back to the ground, his hands staying clenched deep in his pockets. There was a lot to go over, yes, and his first instinct is to dance around it as much as possible. But he knows that won't get anything accomplished. If Asch is thinking he'll just listen and be done with it, then they're going to be in for a rough evening.

But maybe... just maybe... they can try and communicate. Even the basics would be better than where they had left off in the past.]

You remember the last conversation we had, right? When-- [When I killed you. Afterwards, in fact. You knew it was me, even though you couldn't see.] -- when I talked to you, back in the clinic.

[He pauses, only long enough to carefully pick out his words. Don't hesitate. Don't overthink. The worst he can do is leave.

Take a deep breath.

...]

You told me a couple things then. About what happened, and what you thought. Probably wasn't the best time to have asked what I did... and I don't think I ever heard what you genuinely felt about anything.

[He gives a casual shrug, although his voice doesn't follow in tone, keeping even and low. This isn't something to joke about.]

I know it's none of my business now, Asch. It never really was. If you're up for it, though, I'd like to know what you really meant.

[Of course he remembers that conversation. Really, how could he forget? The day Guy came to see him at his lowest, after he'd died, left blinded and punished for daring to sacrifice his own life for the replica?

....

For Luke?

It's not like he'd intended to die. The state of his body was a constant situational hazard, and apart from Guy's sword, it had been the dissonance of his body that had killed him. But telling Guy that back then would have been admitting a weakness, and why would he risk sharing something like that with someone who already hated him and wanted him dead?

This Guy... he hasn't made a decision about that, yet. He's not sure when he will.]

Let me ask you this, first. Before you came here... what's the last thing you remember happening in our world?

[What was the turning point? When did things change? What happened that made Guy suddenly so interested in asking this kind of question?

Last time, he'd been from much too far in the past for Asch's life to mean a damn thing. His past, their past had meant nothing to Guy. Certainly nothing like what it meant to Asch. But later...

...later, he'd been dead. He'd had no future at all outside of this place. And the fear, the implication that it had been his untimely demise that had made Guy rethink their relationship, for good or ill, hadn't left him since they'd had that conversation.

And really, could there be anything more pathetic? The recognition that his value only depends on his status as a living being or a corpse?

He's not sure he could handle that. It would shake the very foundation of everything he's become in this place. Everything that's changed.

So when?]

[An easy question, with only a handful of reasons for why it was being asked. Sizing him up, perhaps?

With how much Asch has visibly aged, Guy would be surprised if someone hadn't spilled about what had gone on in Auldrant by now. The redhead might be brash and snippy, but he wasn't entirely stupid. He listened. It was likely he at least caught on, if he really was from a timeline before him.

It's an "if". Might as well break that. But he still keeps it to the basics.]

The Planet Storm stopped not too long ago. There were plans underway from both Malkuth and Kimlasca to infiltrate Eldrant, but no major actions had started. Not yet, anyway.

Pretty sure that's where you were headed, too.

[Although he hadn't shown his face since their final conversation. He'd made it clear that Eldrant would be a final stand, in a sense - for him, for Luke, and for their sense of identities. Or, well, Asch's sense of identity. Luke had pleaded enough for Guy to feel the kid had already separated himself from Asch a while ago, in theory.

Leaving it to blows didn't sit well with Guy, but he at least acknowledged that it was important. Asch wouldn't have declared his motivations otherwise. It was an act that could stir some change, and hopefully settle the mess that Asch's sense of self had become.

Now the question is... which Asch is he speaking to? The one before, or the one after?]

[Not yet.

He hadn't gone to Eldrant. Not yet. Which means he doesn't know that Asch dies, unless someone else from their world told him, which is unlikely. They'd been careful to keep it a secret from Luke, so why would they tell Guy?

He tells himself it's better this way. And in a way, Guy telling him that is the only thing that keeps him here, keeps him from turning and marching right the hell out of the woods and back to his house. Confirmation of his life mattering to Guy only after it ended would be the final straw for him.

So... what? He'd had a chance even before he'd died? Guy was willing to speak to him without dismissing him or snapping at him or openly hating him? It just hadn't mattered, because there was too much else to do?

No.

It was just too late. It's not like they could have become friends overnight. Hell, he can barely manage to form a friendship in a year. The thought of even trying is laughable. reaching some kind of awkward, tolerable understanding was the most he'd ever expected from anyone in years.

God, how much this place changes people. It's unfair.

He tries, but he can't quite stop the surprise from flickering over his expression, fleeting and indecisive. Guy's point of origin had been the potential excuse for him to leave, but not getting the answer he'd expected just leaves him more startled and uncertain than ever. If not his death, then... what changed? What made this conversation even possible? If it had just been guilt over killing him, they'd have been able to talk like this a year ago when it actually happened. This... this is different.]

My answer back then... about why I did it. [Why I saved him.] You could have just accepted it, walked away knowing I was just a terrible, selfish original seeking to hurt him again. I made you an offer and you wouldn't take it. Why?

[He'd thought it was what Guy wanted. But he'd just thrown it back in Asch's face like it meant nothing to him. Did he really care that much about honesty, or had something else driven him? And what was driving him now?]

Because your offer wasn't an answer at all.

[There's only a little bit of bite to it - a casual annoyance at the tone Asch's voice takes - that Asch had wanted Guy to consider him scum and hate him completely. It's that same wave of anger he remembers feeling back then... but this time, he isn't being badgered by Luke, by raw memories, by seclusion from acquaintances or by his own damn guilt.

So he lets it settle, exhaling sharply before he speaks again.]

That fight happened fast. A handful of minutes, maybe. You weren't there when it started, so I'm guessing you saw it through Luke. Not sure when, or where you came from, but you still had to make up your mind quick enough to intervene. To do it just because of a sadistic joke...

[He scoffs lightly, a hand against his neck.]

You're not that impulsive.

...Hn.

[Isn't he? He's made much more cruel decisions at the drop of a hat before. He'd forced Luke to turn his blade on Tear in Chesedonia, just because it had been funny at the time. He'd resolved to join his replica's ridiculous crew to fight Van in the end and then changed his mind seconds later, just because Luke had said one especially stupid thing. Dying just to leave a cruel scar on Luke's heart? Years ago, he might have done it.

But that was then, and this is now. And even if Guy hadn't known him that well at the time, the transparency of his behaviour is bothersome.

Still, he can't bring himself to share the truth. Not all of it.]

Fine, then. The reason for it is much more simple- he was going to die, and I could save him. I never intended to martyr myself for him, or anything so idiotic and noble. I assumed my intervention would mean we both survived. I was wrong.

[Well. That didn't tell Guy anything that he didn't already know. Just the memory of Asch's face after the blade had hit was enough to tell him that dying hadn't exactly been Asch's plan.]

Why do that, though? You said yourself that death is just temporary. You could have just left him alone to learn a lesson the hard way. Maybe even teach him to have better choices in friends.

[Keep the replica at arm's length, then his annoyances won't be a bother. Guy didn't want to think what that death would have done to Luke... but he knows the boy well enough to say he would have come back with far less to say to his former guardian. Asch had already seemed upset enough when he'd moved out of the apartment - why not just let things happen out of spite?]

[Asch's eyes narrow at that, his gaze shifting in Guy's direction to glower at him for a moment before looking away once more in discomfort. What kind of a monster does Guy think he is?

....

He'd rather not have the answer to that question, actually. And his voice is somewhat strained when he replies - not upset, but definitely... affected, however inexplicably. He's not happy about the implications of Guy's train of thought.]

Is it so difficult a concept for you to swallow? The idea that I might have a reason to want him alive?

[Whoa, okay, palms up. He catches that strain in Asch's words, a sign of bait taken... although Guy isn't exactly sure what he's caught just yet, but he'll still run with it. Just... don't bust a gasket yet, man.]

It's just not what I remember. If this were Auldrant, it would make sense. But you don't need to look twice to tell that... well, you've been here for a while.

Unless your priorities back home are really that important, your reasons must have changed.

Edited (HAHA GRAMMAR who needs grammar) 2013-12-05 08:47 (UTC)

[Asch's response is an inelegant snort, uncrossing his arms and pushing away from his tree to pace a little. He can't just sit still, and this conversation is really making him want to punch something already. Or someone. Better to get some of that pent-up energy out.]

I'm not an idiot, despite what you might believe. We have a common enemy here. Several, in fact. Whether we like each other or not is irrelevant- we're allies now. Would you let an ally die right in front of you?

[The last sentence is enough to break the poker face Guy had been keeping, although Asch may not see that pained attempt at a smile as he paces back and forth.

He did let an ally die in front of him. Almost two. It wasn't what he wanted. But it's still what happened.]

We're talking about you, Asch. Not me. I'm pretty sure there's a lot of stuff I'd do that you wouldn't bother with.

[...]

If it was that simple, then why pull the charade?

[Trust was the first thing that came to mind. But he'd prefer to hear it in Asch's words. Guessing hasn't gotten him too far.]

[That makes Asch pause in his pacing, just for a moment or two. It's a classic Guy evasion, and it only serves to make him feel cornered, targeted. Like he's the one who needs to explain himself, here, instead of Guy, for his behaviour, for his attitude, for his murder.]

...You've never been honest with me. What reason do I have to be honest with you?

[He hasn't forgotten that, either. Years of lying, of letting Asch believe that they were more than just a master and his hired help. Of depending on Guy as one of his select few precious people, servant, guardian, confidante, friend. He'd never forget the betrayal and the heartbreak he'd felt when Van told him the truth.

Lies and betrayal- those were what broke his loyalty, his trust. Guy, and Van, and countless others. The only one who hadn't lied to him was the only one who couldn't.

And that's what Luke was, in the end. Through the hate, through the abuse, through the arguing and the conflicting emotions... Luke was the only one who couldn't lie to him.

The only one whose word Asch could really trust.]

...Really?

[Sure, it's a biting remark, one that Guy knows he deserves. But right now doesn't seem like the time or the place, and the flustered sound that he makes is about the only tell he'll let slip for how much he does not want to go down that path right now.]

Well, maybe because that's how things get resolved, and how problems get fixed. You know, you talk it out. That kind of takes some honesty.

But you know what? No. You don't have to. There isn't a reason for you to be honest with me. [Not one that will get Asch to cooperate easily, that is.]

If you were so set on kicking my word as something dishonest this whole time, though... then really, I'm not sure why you said you'd listen.

[That...

...that was not the right thing to say. But then, with him, people so rarely say the right thing, anyway. Still, he bristles, twisting to face Guy properly, one hand braced on the tree to keep him grounded. Or to keep him from lunging and shoving Guy down the hill just to get him the hell away, maybe. He can't decide yet. Or maybe he should leave, instead.

But no- he's still mad, and Guy keeps making him mad, and he hates that he feels so justified in his anger and at the same time judged for that... irrationality. Even if it feels completely rational to him.

He's facing down the man who murdered him in cold blood. Why the hell should he be expected to stay even remotely close to calm?]

It's not what you say that's dishonest- It's what you don't say! That's always been how it is with you! You talk and talk and talk and say nothing!

[W h o a okay, something there hit a nerve, and said nerve is sadly down the exact place Guy did not want to take this talk, but Asch seems to have sunk himself into bringing feelings into this - gosh, how many years had it been now?? Al he's doing is piling on hurt for a situation that shouldn't be taking that kind of stress. Well... not completely, at least.]

What does that have to do with any of this? I-- [His jaw tightens, a hand running through his hair as he tries to clip his own words in response.] Look, am I not being blunt enough? What the hell do you want me to say?

[Action, Nov. 26th]

[Action, Nov. 26th]

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i am assuming those blossoms do not blossom all year, please smack me if i am wrong

hell if I know I am not a botanist or whatever

hngh okay let's do this

oh lordy

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